Earlier this week, following Navaratree, nine nights of worshipping the dynamic goddess, Kali, we celebrated Dusshera, the triumph of truth over evil. Women are the highlight of this festival and in some parts of India young girls are worshipped. Women celebrate and are celebrated. On the tenth day, we invoke Goddess Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge. I very much enjoyed this festival as a child, not because I loved being worshipped but because I loved being fed. As age caught up with me, I was told that pre-pubertal girls are incarnations of goddesses and only they are to be worshipped. I was always curious about what changed after puberty, but no one ever answered me, even though my question was never rhetorical. This concept comes to my mind year after year as I watch the growing enthusiasm around the festival. It is an extended Women’s Day celebration with a colourful Indian aura. Social media is replete with messages about ‘why’ women should be respected (# Respect Women), and a curious person might find these creative. Fundamentally, these messages are flawed and as a society we must understand why.
At breakfast last week, I was having an animated chat with my husband about a reported case of rape in the newspapers. We were familiar with the case and were discussing how the case signified the realm of law which enables women in a society where they are not treated as equals. As we were discussing the progressive evolution of consensual intercourse, a message popped on my WhatsApp. I am quoting an excerpt here, “Dear Girls: Never remove your clothes to prove your love. Going to date is ok but before marriage never go to bed. Get a boy who can buy safety pads for you, not condoms. Get a boy who can take you to his home, not to the hotels…. Get a boy who asks about your period’s pain, not……… #Respect Women”. I read the message again, and not because the grammar errors confused me but because the message was regressive and pushing some good public health work back in time. I had read it correctly. It was erroneous on two accounts. One, it suggested that before marriage, a girl should not trust a boy who buys condoms. Two, the message equated period pain and hygiene to unsafe sexual intercourse.
Sanitary napkins and condoms are both essential for effective public health outreach in the community. Sanitary napkins have a huge role to play in hygiene during periods and condoms are actually one way to continue having periods, if a sexually active couple do not wish to have a child. Sanitary napkins cannot prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and undesired pregnancies just as condoms cannot relieve period pain. Boys or girls who use condoms for safety are not acting in an inappropriate manner but are actually acting responsibly. Yet, condom use is abysmally low in India compared to Europe, Americas and even several Asian countries. For this to change, it is very important that as a society, we understand, accept and encourage the use of condoms. Distributing condoms during large community festivities has been a successful public health intervention for years. In India it is typically done during Navaratree and on New Year’s Eve. It is successful because it provides a safe choice for a behaviour which could otherwise lead to an increase in STDs and undesired pregnancies. Undesired pregnancies are a greater burden for women not just physically but also because they affect women indecorously. Women are often intimidated by an unplanned pregnancy and resort to unsafe measures of abortion. Unsafe abortions are a threat to women’s health and can even lead to death.
Preventing maternal mortality (death of a woman during pregnancy, at or soon after delivery) is a priority, and the Government of India has shown remarkable commitment toward achieving it. However, policies are not foolproof or the be all and end all solutions to unsafe abortions. It was a very wise woman who said, and I quote, “Never watch the making of sausages or a policy”. I don’t know who said this, but it had to be a woman who understood the long journey and implementation of the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act of 1971 (MTP Act). Just kidding! I hope I have made my point though. The point is that there remain several challenges to accessing safe abortions. Within the safety net that the MTP Act provides, it is estimated that eight women die in India, daily, from consequences of unsafe abortions (https://doi.org/10.1363/2018.30009 ). The number of people, across all genders, who suffer from STDs is much higher. In the face of these preventable deaths and STDs, condoms are a windfall. They are a cost-effective way of preventing many dangerous consequences of unsafe sexual intercourse. The Government of India has committed itself to behaviour change in the population. To increase the use of condoms the government is working toward increasing demand and supply of condoms and promoting their use through social marketing programs.
When I read a message curbing women’s choices while I was discussing the progressive evolution of consensual intercourse, I was reminded of the stark contrasts women live with every day. To everyone who sends messages on why one should respect women, please ask yourself, why are women disrespected at all? Why disrespect anyone at all? Our discourse keeps shifting from upholding women’s rights to the onus of the society to protect women. Society and men keep taking this on themselves and continue to disempower women by encroaching on women’s freedom to make choices and live independently.
This Dusshera, I ordered myself an idol of the Goddess Saraswati who symbolizes knowledge, which I believe is truly empowering and is the only way out of the darkness of ignorance. Let the truth prevail; let it be known that condoms and sanitary napkins are both required for better health.
#Respect for All!
